Sunday, September 16, 2007
cooping myself in my room, crying, and blogging this entry.dunno why, i cant control the sad feeling stirring within me. the tears kept flowing, yet dere's nth i cud do to stop it. at least i felt better letting it out. i noe some pple will be like... wyna, dun be silly, there's no need to cry over such things. but ur not me, none will understand, none will eva understand. i guess, i'm not the reason why he's feeling lucky today.bumping into him at the toilet door today, is not the reason he's feeling lucky. but to me, i'm lucky. so was bumping into him outside toilet yest, and in St. James. the reason he's feeling lucky, is bcos he bumped into her at the toilet before he bumped into me. in other words... she is the real reason.seriously after i knew wat ed did to dawn, i disagree with his actions. but i understand how he felt. insecurity, bcos u simply like/love someone too much, so much u dun wanna lose him/her to others who u tink mebbe better than u. jealousy, can drive one crazy... and i'm gg crazy. i was crazy... i am crazy... for a moment tinking, hoping tt i'm the reason ur feeling lucky. was happy. so happy tt i managed to have caught ur attention for tt mere 5 secs when i walked into the lt on tues. but u noe, the higher ur hopes, the harder the dash. i've fallen, hard, my mind and soul - broken.
all these are my own speculations. but i've undergone too much disappointments in the past to wanna hope i'm the reason he is feeling lucky. i rather prepare myself for the disappointment now, den suffer a worse pain to find out things were not wat i thought to be.
she is very pretty, much much prettier than me. i'm not good enuff, neva good enuff. no matter how much i change, i'm always one step inferior to those girls tt the guys i like admires. i noe, i sound like a loser, i feel tt way too. the only guy tt eva made me felt someone truly appreciates my existence, is perhaps nicholas lee. thankyou. altho u were neva part of my life, but u left me beautiful memories.
my love life? one word - sad. from rabbit, tango, atsg, zs, k, arthur and now J. heartbreaks, and more heartbreaks, nth but heartbreaks.i'm but an ugly duckling. no one wants. no one loves. an ugly duckling, tt can neva become a swan.
♥ Yuki & Kaname ♥
