Monday, March 05, 2007
My dumb dumb Daddy was late in paying the internet bills. So my internet was suspended for 5days and resumed only today. Life is hell w/o internet =( but good in a way tt i can concentrate on my business stats. Hav been drilling myself wit some serious questions abt -you-. Finally came to a conclusion. I'm crystal clear of how i feel now. Yes, wat i felt, is not wat i tot i felt. So.... guess my life resumes normal =) Rid of all emotional burdens. I'm never a good player in these emotional games. I've had my share of break downs, depressions, mood swings and sudden highs. I'm gonna cut the invisible strings that ur fiddling wit, controlling my mind, emotions and behaviour. Putting a stop to these senseless games. For i have more constructive obligations to adhere to. Have more important things to see to. Its high time i regain my rationale, and sort out my priorities. Guess wit time, age and painful experiences, i've been coerced to change. Yes, i've changed. Some things arent as important as before to me, guess they will neva be tt important anymore. Girlish fantasies of prince charmings are nothing but transient bubbles of hope tt are easily dashed by the cruelty of realities. The real world is ugly. Afterall, "Happily ever afters" only exists in fairytales. Once bitten, twice shy. After witnessing the union and seperation of many couples around me, guess tt greatly diminished my confidence in love. Love? Haha.. What is tat? That is but a emotional luxury, not a necessity for survival. With or w/o it, u wont die. However if u screw ur studies, yes u will die, esp in a Singapore's competitive society. After saying so much, u shud noe wat i'm driving at. Just wanna let those who are concerned abt me noe, yes i'm happy the way i am, i'm OK. ( *love is noth!n but a beautiful illusion*)
♥ Yuki & Kaname ♥