Thursday, October 01, 2009

{\*last day of school + mooncake shopping + earthquake*/}

yesterday was my official last day of school and submission of my last project. weee! but from now on, its exam preparation =(( i have decided, since this is my last exam, i'm really gg to put in hard work and study, i'm gg to study even harder than what i did for semester 2 and 3. afterall, my notes are blank. =D

afterschool, i went for a last min mooncake hunting. Initially i wanted to go to Raffles hotel to get the bird's nest, rum truffle and durian mooncake. But i ended up getting a box of blueberry and cheese and durian mooncake from Rafflecity. Cause coincidentally and conveniently, they had gathered many stalls from various hotels selling their mooncakes there, so i took my pick and bought a box from kia hiang restaurant.

continued walking around rafflescity with rae. rae wanted to try out the mineral make up products displayed at this particular pushcart in a corner. the make up artist doing the demo for us was an italian guy. his make up skills were really good, or perhaps its the product, so was his flirting skills, he made our make up looked really natural and flawless. For someone like me with big pores, my face looked almost smooth =)) so i bought a set of 2 foundation and 2 diff shades of blushes with 3 professional brushes for $170, since i tot its quite a steal. he was also damn accurate in guessing the products i was using for my foundation, as well as rae and my age. the scary thing was, he kept telling rae that i'm beautiful and such a babe and he asked me out to club with him that very nite, in exchange he'll charge me cheaply for the products =S obviously i declined it. i have nothing against caucasian guys, just tt i prefer chinese looking guys. So i lied saying i already have a boyfriend, thankfully he wasnt persistent after hearing that. phew!

the strange thing was, when i was lying about the fake boyfren thing, X's face flashed through my mind. i was tinking if the caucasian wanted to see my bf, i wud call X. strange huh, somehow i know he can and will be there to protect me, and sub-consciously i have started to rely on someone. i dun like this feeling. i want to rely on myself to protect myself. because i know, and only want platonic frenship btwn us. rae is right, he is a nice guy, and since i know i will not like him, i shud not even give him a chance, a chance that might end up letting him get hurt.

but perhaps i've been single for so long, at times i miss those times when i felt loved and protected. but i know the best person for this job, is the one i see in the mirror. afterall, the one you love most, may be the one that hurt you the most as well.

ok enuff of all the mixed feelings. continuing with my story. felt an earthquake for the first time in my life. i was eating at the marina square foodcourt when i felt the whole world shaking. at first i tot it was because i'm too tired so i felt giddy, but later i realised the tv was shaking, the decos were shaking, so was my soup. it was not a scary experience, just interesting. what i was worried abt, was that the decos falling on my head. but luckily they didnt. only when i checked the yahoo news this morning that i knew the tremor was due to an earthquake in Indonesia yesterday. Speaking of Indonesia, i wonder is the recent haze due to their acts of burning the forest... again? damn, i hate the haze.

*{ elaine }* | 2:36 PM

Sunday, September 20, 2009

{\*clubbing addiction ectstacy infatuation*/}

its amazing how the right combination of frens, booze, music and clubbing can do to one's brains. went zirca & rebel with the SIM pool club gang yesterday for the rmit bash, loved it, finally found a grp that dances instead of just sitting arnd drinking and getting wasted. not like they didnt get wasted, but at least we had fun drinking, dancing, and cam-whoring altogether.

cailing and shereen told me i looked so pretty yesterday that they cudnt recognise me when i was walking towards them. damn, it means i dun look pretty normally =( lols. they thought i was some of mike's other girl frens, cos he seemed to have alot of chio female frens. well, 我本来就是his friend what.

though i didnt drink much yesterday, cause i had to drive home, i seemed to get high on the atmosphere and music. did some crazy stuff that the normal me wont do. like telling some guy whom i'm kinda interested that he looked so hot last nite, and taking a few solo pics with him, taking the chance to lean on him =)) and when i was leaving, he kinda "sayang-ed" me. hehe. if only i can pretend to be drunk and the take chance to hug him sia, but cannot, his ex-gf there. well, his ex-gf is trying to win him back. SEE WHAT I MEAN??? booze was getting into my head, it still is i tink, tts why i'm tinking abt such nonsenses now. its infatuation, I'M SURE!

a guy like him, i'm sure it wont work. cause he gives me the playboy impression. well, WHY guys with that name always seem to be popular with girls??

liking 2 different guys with the same name, and similar character.

silly me.

*{ elaine }* | 11:20 PM

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

{\*blank out*/}

mmm.. actually i have a handful of things to blog abt, but when i'm really down to blogging, i realise i cant gather or organise my thoughts properly to weave everything up in a coherent manner.

perhaps precisely because too much has happened, all the stress and confusion has kinda interefered with my normal way of thinking.

the other day when Sand was talking about platonic friendship, it set me thinking. it really works out only when the two person understands the friendship they share. TT and i definitely have no issues with that, he thinks i'm a guy, and i take him for a gayshit, end of story. but i guess there may be some trouble btwn me and X(his name for the time being). i hope i'm being over-sensitive, but sometimes the care and concern, and the things he do, always making himself available around me really makes me feel perhaps some things have alrdy crossed the line without me realising it. even rae felt the same when she knew what happened. my hands are alrdy tied at the moment dealing with my life and the commitment baggages that i carry, i shudnt be bothering myself with things like that anymore. or rather i cant, i'm too tired. i guess i can only take a step at a time.

in the past, i'm always thinking, why there's not as many people jioing me as my other girl frens. ok tts something lame to be thinking of, but i was young and confused back then. now i know, its because i did not even give people a chance to get near me. i'm always running away, alfred and Shah's case were the classic examples. fancy me quitting a job over some guys, that was a childish way of handling. rae was right, its not my fault or their's if they were to like me, its also natural for a girl to feel scared when guys show affection for her. i mean who know what their intentions are or whether they are perverts not, its only reasonable to be careful. i guess, i was too careful till i practically lock myself away from them. but still, i'll stick to my own principle, the one who truly loves me, who truly is the one, will eventually be able to find his way to my heart. i just hafta wait. but the wait is gg to be long, cos as i said, i have commitments on hand to be settled first.

drove little auntie's car yesterday, she now knows how zai my driving is, and how vulgar i am when i'm at it lols. she tinks i drive like a devil and a hooligan. devil in the sense i drive fast, weaving in and out, and hooligan when i'm cursing and horning people at least 5 times yesterday in a span of 2 hours on the road. the only lucky thing was i did not point middle finger. damn shiok, haven driven ever since LY's 21st bday party, or rather since my dad "died" last year. dun bother asking me what happened, story is too long for me to explain, and i may not be telling the truth either =)

ok, got to go and sleep, morning lesson tmr. nites dear world.

*{ elaine }* | 11:31 PM

Thursday, July 30, 2009

{\*bored, tired, lazy and crazy me.*/}

i know i know i haven been blogging diligently, cos there's nth much interesting abt my life to blog abt anw. and i dun really have the want-to-blog mood nowadays. but here i am blogging now because this week happened to be abit more interesting than usual =)

i cheong finished Breath of Fire 4 in a record breaking period of 4 days on sunday, woot! started on last thurs nite, ended on last sunday midnite. abit sad also, that series of RPG is my favourite other than Legend of Dragoon & Wild Arms 2, now i have nothing to entertain myself when i'm home alone =( it was also my first successful attempt to download and crack a PC game on my own =)) so proud of myself, tt goes to show i'm not completely software incompetent. hehe. gg to start on FF7 soon which Derek lent me to play last week. although school has started, but i'm still in the holiday mood.

lemme see, monday was a gathering with the SIM gang before Ben flies off to US for his exchange programme. we had lunch buffet at Seoul Garden, but ended up i was the one who ate for free instead of Ben, the supposed star of the day. lols. the thing was i arrived late and everyone had started eating, so when i reached i tot someone had paid for me first. later, they told me they hadnt paid mine. so i made my way to the counter, took out my wallet and money and was prepared to pay. i called the counter lady thrice, i said excuse me thrice and she ignored me thrice flat, paying attention only to the rowdy grp of tourists who got some payment issues at the counter. so i got pissed off and decided to pay when i'm done eating. and ended up when i'm done eating, i forgot to pay.

had lunch with ly on tues, the chicken rice stall she recommended me was cheap and good =) later we went walk walk see see and had ice-cream and some japanese snacks. i even got to go to ly's office, it felt weird seeing her working. time passes so fast that now she is a working woman and i'm almost graduating, everything makes me feel all these are so unreal. perhaps all these while i hadnt realised, we have alrdy grown up. perhaps in a few years time, we'll be seeing each other walking down the church aisle and even carrying our first born baby. life is so amazing.

bumped into a few old frens this week, the creepy thing is, all of them are like long lost frens la! firstly, i bumped into hongwee at tampines, he looked the same, i was telling him to organise an NEA gathering soon, haven seen them for 3 or 4 years. the second was sylvia, she seemed to have disappeared since she left for US 3 years ago, she looked slightly different now and i almost cudnt recognise her.

all these gatherings and bumping into frens incidents set me thinking. in life, everyone has frens, many frens, but we only have a few close to our hearts whom we meet up with more often, it feels kinda bad towards those we have neglected. but the thing is, everyone is at a different stage of their lives, sometimes its our schedule, work or even lifestyle that causes us to drift away from our frens unknowingly. so how do we make sure every fren can feel our presence? thats an answer i'm still searching for. afterall, i'm quite a hermit, not tt i dun like or dun care abt my frens, i'm someone who prefers to be alone and keep to myself most of the time. and ended up, pple complain to me that i'm always missing. lols.

for the past 1 week, i've been having ridiculous dreams now and then. dreaming of weird pple and weird things i will never think of while i'm awake. was telling ly the other day how my dream had creeped me out. dreamt that i got married, my husband is quite handsome and quite 疼 me, other than the fact i dunno him and dun love him. i ran away from him, and ran away with TT. omg. i must be so stressed up such that my brains have gone completely haywired. just this morning before coming to school, i dreamt that SG came back to me. eerrrrrmmm... he is the last guy i will ever want to see ever again in my life, although i did liked him alot when i was 17. i must be too stressed out, thats why my brains are starting to play tricks on me.

waiwai needs a good break, she needs to get away to some place far far away! she needs a good sleep without disturbances from weird dreams. =(( and she needs to start working hard for her last semester!!!

*{ elaine }* | 1:52 PM

Thursday, June 11, 2009

{\*life, my life*/}

sashiburi, mina! hehe showing off abit of jap i learned from watching all the jap animes. wow its been months since i blogged or last viewed my own blog, yeah broke my own record! 4 months flat.

having holidays now, hate it absolutely. so boring, nothing to do and feeling unproductive. to worsen the situation, cant find a job, not even a tuition assignment (or rather non with good pay), so i'll just hafta continue rotting at home or gg out. as the cute alvin says (not the alvin some mebbe thinking), money keeps gg outta the pocket at times like this =p. come to think of it, i really love my uni days in SIM, love to go to school to talk nonsense and hang out with frens, but hate projects and exams. cant wait for school to start again, for the last time for me, afterwhich i'll be graduating in abt 5 mnths time =). cant wait for working life to start either, so i'll be earning my own keep, and driving my own car like LY.

a sense of mixed feelings, feeling abit sad tt i'm bidding uni life goodbye, yet feeling happy tt i'll soon be entering a new stage in life. i'm grateful and feeling lucky tt i entered SIM and met the pple i met. for the past 2 and a 1/2 years of uni life, had been the best days of my life so far. i'll never forget all the love my frens have for me, all the joy and laughter, all the nonsenses, as well as my first love experience. life is never perfect, although this period of time contained sadness and certain drastic changes in my life as well, they have all become valuable memories and experiences which i'm thankful for making me a stronger individual. i thank the lord, or whoever is up there for making these days of my life.

managed to muster my courage to check my results yesterday, nearly burst into tears when i saw my result. but whatever it is, i am happy to annouce I AM SAFE ONCE AGAIN!! managed to clear every subject =) was damn scared for marketing, i almost left a 10mark section blank for the exam paper, only wrote like 3 lines for tt part. although i am happy i cleared everything, the result this semester was the worse outta all my semesters, feeling abit shitty abt tt. still, i'm very happy to say i am now one step away from graduation, may lord continue to bless me.

i'm so gg to indulge myself for awhile, rewarding myself for overcoming all the obstacles so far. SHOPPING TIME!

been watching alot of animes ever since uni days. in the past, i cudnt understand why people are crazy over animes, now i cant understand why i love animes so much lols, i have the whole collection of bleach with high quality viewing =D. actually anime guys are so cute, when u compare them with real life guys, u will find most guys in real life suck, both character and looks wise. if only i can meet some guy as cute as Farenheit, or some guy that just walks outta animes. perhaps i love jap animes so much i may end up with a jap hubby or something. i noe, some pple may think i'm a bitch for being superficial when choosing bfs, gg after looks. but here is my arguement, i've seen many girl frens of mine who are quite pretty, and ended up with an ugly guy whom they thought was trustworthy and devoted, and in the end what happened? so i was thinking, ugly or handsome are equally untrustworthy, so i might as well be nice to myself, find someone whom i think is cute, at least it benefits my descendants with good looks. damn, i shud have advised my mom tat before i was born, FUCK. oh well...

*{ elaine }* | 2:36 PM

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

{\*f**king pissed*/}

i guess sometimes its good to be capable independent women. whats the use of relying on some men? rather than wait for someone to help u, u might as well self-help.

some men are just fucking whining bastards, esp MCPs like YOU. they are MCPs, bcos they themselves are just fucking useless bastards, who laments on their self-acclaimed unluckiness, instead of reflecting on their own uselessness and stupidity that caused their current plight. and they want to oppress women to make themselves feel better.YOU, yes YOU, you should just fucking castrate urself! stop being such a pussy, although u dun have one, but why the hell do u keep getting FUCKED?! the answer is, you are just fucking useless!

so sorry but u chose the wrong girl to mess with. in terms of intelligence, intellectuality, and even financial power, i am way stronger than YOU! you can continue living in ur self-delusion, thinking that u're growing up, when in actual fact its just ur imagination. because in OUR view, ur still one useless fuck!

u tink i'm being a clown, u tink i'm useless, u tink i'm immature and ur grown up just bcos ur older? u tink i'm procrastinating and avoiding issues? lemme tell u, its u who shud grow up. stop living in ur "i tink, i tink". start listening to what pple are talking abt you, and u will noe what a failure you are. if u tink u can succeed by 拗ing ur way thru life, then i wish u all the best. then you really will be leading ur whole life, as a clown.

i dun hafta waste my breathe arguing with u, cos i'm not some jerk like u tts so damn fucking good at 拗ing. facts will speak up for me, and pple can know very well who is the useless one here. get a fucking life, loser!

*{ elaine }* | 12:09 AM

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

{\*random events*/}

getting sick of my blog layout, feel like revamping the whole damn thing. shall wait till i have the time, and the mood.

was blog hopping, saw that sam talked abt cockroaches, so perhaps i should write my share of experience with worms on friday =) not a very nice experience though =S

last friday i was on my way to school, late as usual... very late lols. i got onto bus 52 at macritchie as per normal, took out my MP3 and plucked my earpiece into my ears. the bus happened to jerk pretty badly and my left earpiece fell out onto my shoulder. so i looked across the left side of my chest for the damned earpiece, and there i saw a nice little worm cruising, or rather wriggling its way across my tank top. i've had a worse experience before, try having a cockroach on the innerside of ur bra when u're wearing it =) so i wasnt shocked, just felt somehow disgusted. i gently and quickly tried to pick it up and leave it on the bus floor, i din want to hurt it, but i guess i still did cos there were "worm juice" on my fingers.

been feeling lethargic, emo (altho it aint my style), abit helpless, disappointed, but i hafta thank a great group of uni-classmates who are a bunch of fun and laughter. being with them makes me a happy person. at times i really feel like giving up, everything feels screwed up, but i noe someday it'll get better. I've been thru worse times before, i believe i am strong enuff to pull it thru. as rae said, this is part of growing up, the process is painful, but the results will be fruitful. *no pun intended*

hehe vday was usual... but the difference is, i'm no longer afraid of being alone on vday. in fact. i felt happy for those who have their counterparts to spend it with, even if u dun have, its a day for u to show ur love towards ur closest ones. i was superficial and immature in the past to have stubbornly believed vday is strictly for couples. if u really found the right one, everyday is vday. so why bother rushing to get someone just for the sake of spending vday, and u guys end up not being happy? for those who have found the one, i sincerely wish them all the best. for those who hadnt, i'm sure god has someone in store for u in time to come, u just hafta be patient.

i hafta thank X for making me feel so beautiful, its been so long since someone told me he finds me beautiful. its feels good to feel good, lols, wat rubbish am i saying? rae, nicholas, ben and my sis were right, i hafta be confident in myself. in fact, thats wat alot of pple been telling me. but it doesnt really matter at the moment, cos i know i have more important things on hand. ya but still, it feels good. =))

tomorow there's pool com. lols, it was a last min thing, myke just called and asked if i'm free tmr, since i have nth on, and need to relax, i'll just go for fun. tho i noe i'll be thrashed, haven trained for 3 months, tmr sure like shit. who cares, i'm not a star player, its just for experience. still, wish me luck.

*{ elaine }* | 11:17 PM

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

{\*My Loves*/}

Presenting... my new *loves* =)

i love 飞轮海!! they are so gorgeous, the best asian boyband ever! each of them are shuai in their own unique ways. seeing them makes many guys we see on the streets now pale in comparison. the truth is, most guys nowadays cant make it lols. Their singing has improved, and this song really touched me. The only thing is, this MV quite cheapo, only got the ferris wheel background, but its ok, they all look so gooood in it. How i wish i can fly to taiwan now and join their fanclub there, then i can join 娱乐百分百for the 粉丝福利社. damn... if only i can get a bf that looks like anyone of them, wahahaha *drools*. i pray, i pray, i pray hard.

*{ elaine }* | 12:09 AM